The Wisdom of Homer Simpson


Wednesday Wickedness is “like other memes in that we will ask you ten questions each and every Wednesday. But our little ‘twist’ is that each week we will pick a famous person and pick ten of their quotes. Each of our questions will be based on the quotes.”

1 . “Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals … except the weasel.”
What was the last thing that you weaseled out of?

I’m sure it has something to do with housecleaning. It just doesn’t give me the goodies other tasks do.

2. “If they think I’m going to stop at that stop sign, they’re sadly mistaken!”
What was the last thing that caught your eye that you stopped for?

Other than sunsets, I actually can’t recall. Well, unless it was some particularly bad and/or rude driving, which I undoubtedly kvetched about. In fact, it was probably in Charlotte: this woman was parked in a parking space in a mall. She was on her cellphone, started the car, went forward onto the curb, then went back to the space, banging the grille. Then opened her car door and threw out some litter before reparking to cover two parking spaces.

3. “You can’t keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.”
When was the last time that you blamed yourself?

OK, I don’t REALLY blame my mom’s death on the fact that I came down to Charlotte, thus making me the last of her children to visit her in the hospital; ditto my father’s death, BTW.
I guess I’m not really into self-blame; not sure it serves a purpose.

4. “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.”
Does alcohol play an important role in your life?

Not anymore. It did in my early twenties, but these days, I can go weeks or months without a drink.

5. “All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”
Would you ever donate a kidney or another organ to someone?

Probably my wife, daughter, sisters, or niece.

6. “Bart, you’re saying butt-kisser like it’s a bad thing!”
Have you ever thought you were a butt-kisser?

Possibly in the past. But these days, in fact, there have been times when I suppose I should have been more politic.

7. “Everyone knows rock n’ roll attained perfection in 1974; It’s a scientific fact.”
What do you consider rock ‘n roll perfection?

I was always fond of 1969. Beatles, Led Zeppelin, the Band, Aretha, the wah-wah Temptations.

8.“Hey, he’s not happy at all! He lied to us through song! I HATE when people do that!”
How seriously do you take an artist’s lyrics?

Depends on the quality of the artist. Paul McCartney didn’t know an Eleanor Rigby. On the other hand, some singers are clearly writing autobiographical stuff. Doesn’t matter; only matters if it’s good.

9. “If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.”
What was the last thing that you did despite the fact that it was hard?

Bury my mother.

10. “The Internet? Is that thing still around?”
Can you imagine being in a time without the internet?

Yes. I still have my horse-drawn carriage in my back yard. Seriously, I was a librarian before we had access to the Internet, and it certainly has changed my job tremendously, some for the better, but not entirely. The biggest downside actually is the expectation by others that EVERYTHING is available on the Internet, but we librarians just haven’t found it yet.
***
“Watson has lots in common with a top-ranked human Jeopardy! player: It’s very smart, very fast, speaks in an uneven monotone, and has never known the touch of a woman.” – Ken Jennings.

Scott answers my questions

Jaquandor recognizes my honesty, if not my usefulness.

My ENDLESS thanks intro for ABC Wednesday.

0 thoughts on “The Wisdom of Homer Simpson”

  1. Roger, the last thing I stopped to look at was the Madison Capitol Dome, surrounded by union workers, students, and just plain folks protesting the governor’s attempt to strip state union workers of collective bargaining rights. Union-busting being totally un-American, I had no choice but to park my car and join them on the spot.

    Thanks for asking. And we thought Homer was brainless! Amy BL

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  2. I love Homer-isms, the writers behind that show are simply brilliant. I wound answer number 7 with a loud Pink Floyd, of course. The band changed my life, especially Roger’s lyrics. Wonderful stuff.

    I can, and do, imagine a time without the Internet. Sometimes daily. I wonder if we’re heading in the right direction…or if time would have stood still in the 50’s, would that have been best.

    This was fun to read, Roger!

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  3. Item #7: The pinnacle of rock and roll occurred in 1976 with the release of “Anarchy In The UK” by the Sex Pistols. Not merely my opinion but I agree wholeheartedly. A scientific fact.

    I don’t believe I’m reading this. And commenting. Sheesh.

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  4. Unions make up the backbone of the country. There might not be numerous workers left, however they fight for workers’ privileges. These types of privileges, then, are converted to additional non-union work. Without unions, we all have been simply person workers trying to battle for our rights.

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