The baby sister as caretaker

Back in the mid-1980s, my “baby” sister Marcia, who was in her mid-20s , was living at home home with our parents in Charlotte, NC. I said to her at the time, “You’d better get out of there. You’re going to get stuck taking care of our aging parents,” who were approaching 60 (in other words, about my current age – yeesh.)

After my father died in 2000, my mother, my sister and her daughter lived together. I would help out and visit when I could, but I had a family in Albany, NY. My sister Leslie also had her life in San Diego, CA.

As the one left at home, Marcia, with her daughter, became the one to take care of our mother, when, in the last few months of her life, she became more erratic and forgetful. Much of what was going on I was totally not aware of until well after the fact.

So on Marcia’s birthday, I just wanted to thank her publicly for all she did for our mom. When one has the caretaker role, sometimes it’s difficult when the role ends, I realize. And now she’s the head of the household. I wish her love and good fortune moving forward.

0 thoughts on “The baby sister as caretaker”

  1. very common in an Asian community.

    Today, we had a Book Character day. I wrecked my brain, saw my husband’s hane hat and special long sleeved Reflectal shirt, a 2 vest. I googled for female engineers, and found Josie Pigeon, Woman boss, best carpenter and employers only women. That became me for the day. Trouble was no body knew of Josie Pigeon. Next week, I am going to teach some of my girls to be JP. to be the boss and be assertive.

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  2. Bravo to your sister, Marcia!

    I worry about being in the same position you were in. My sister currently lives at home, mostly due to losing her job. (She is now employed again.) One brother is still in the area, too. I know they, and my sister-in-law, will be up to the task when the times comes. However, I feel that I should be there to help out.

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