The popcorn story

By demand from Island Rambles. I mean Shooting Parrots asked for it, but IR INSISTED!

When I was forced to get rid of my microwave by my lovely bride after we got married and moved in together, one of the things I most missed was making microwave popcorn. Now Carol would say, “Oh, you can make popcorn on the stove.” Well, no; maybe SHE could, and occasionally/rarely she did, but I could not, unless you considered creating a smoky and scorched pot, oddly filled with burnt popcorn AND unpopped kernels, “making popcorn.” I used the oil, even moved the pot as instructed but to no particular success, unless the goal was to make a mess without having a satisfactory culinary outcome. It’s OK to mess up a lot of pans if there’s a payoff, but without one…

I must have mentioned me missing this appliance at a gathering of her birth family, around Thanksgiving or Christmas of 1999. When we all got together for Mother’s Day the next year, they brought ME a box of microwave popcorn, which I accepted graciously. This was just the wrong response for them.

What I was SUPPOSED to do is kvetch, “But we don’t have a microwave! What am I to do with this?” At that point, they were going to then give us a microwave, which we could use in the new house, where we were going to move into the following week, and there would as room for it. Instead, I figured to just use the microwave popcorn at work.

Finally, the following weekend, they brought us the new microwave, as a first anniversary/housewarming present, disappointed that they did not have a little fun at my expense. Indeed, inadvertently, I had some fun at THEIR expense, and I wasn’t even trying.

AND, after very little practice, I almost NEVER burn the popcorn.

LISTEN: Buttered Popcorn by the Supremes

3 thoughts on “The popcorn story”

  1. I’m an air-popper girl, myself. Helps me control how much butter, etc. goes in my body. It literally pops with little or no oil.

    Then you slather it with garlic-lemon butter made from scratch. And have a little dish of chocolate chips on the side, ha ha ha! Loved this.

    You didn’t freak out in front of the ‘rents, how funny that they bought you a microwave later! Amy

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  2. Cooking popcorn stovetop is like whistling with two fingers for me: it looks deceptively simple when others do it but it’s something I’ve never been able to acquire the knack of. Having the lid only partially on seems to help the popcorn cook better, but then the best kernels are the escapees that explore the outer realms of your kitchen while the ones that stay behind smugly dare you to “Eat me” because they know they’re going to taste bad.

    Fun post, Roger. Enjoy your popcorn and Happy Anniversary!

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  3. Stove top popcorn was a ritual in my family. My grandfather made a pan nearly every evening as a snack for years and years. My mother taught me to do it when I was a teenager. We finally got one of those poppers with the plastic dome and used it forever and ever. That put an end to the stove top popping. Even after moving on to microwave popcorn, my mother would still pour it from the bag into a bowl to eat it. I do the same thing even now. Keith laughs at me about it.

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