Category Archives: Wal-Mart

One Step Beyond

Monk / Nun
Monk / Nun
Take Your Secret Self 1 Step Beyond today!
Created with Rum and Monkey‘s Personality Test Generator.

Going 1 step beyond I am all about spiritual truth, bread and bad haircuts. For me the best part of the day is spent in quiet meditation where I don’t have to worry about my big ears and people laughing at me. No one really understands the depth of my soul, which is in here somewheres. I study, I work, I feed deer and am kind to little bunnies. I am making this a better world by shutting myself away from real life. Somehow. I am certain life’s questions can be answered by sleeping on hard things and chanting.

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Your result for The Director Who Films Your Life Test…

Francis Ford Coppola

Your film will be 61% romantic, 29% comedy, 34% complex plot, and a $ 45 million budget.

Filmography: The Conversation, The Godfather (and Pt. 2 and Pt. 3), Apocolypse Now, Peggy Sue Got Married, Jack, etc. He even used his clout after The Godfather to get George Lucas’ classic American Graffiti made. But then he notoriously went WAY overbudget with Apocolypse Now which sort of maimed his career since. He’s been doing a lot of small films lately which may give your life story an inside track. A high-budget simple romantic drama is best in the hands of this modern master filmmaker.

Take The Director Who Films Your Life Test at HelloQuizzy

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My sister, knowing my lifelong love of Wal-Mart (I seriously jest), sent this:
BANNED FROM WAL-MART………..

Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
One day she received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they weren’t looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.’
4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M’s on layaway.
5. September 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
7. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
11. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by
using different sizes of funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
And last, but not least …
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’

Regards,
Wal-Mart

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